Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
