I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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