no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
