chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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