Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
