Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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