drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
