sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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