What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
