just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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