I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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