Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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