Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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