I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
