Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
