What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
