Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
