hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
