Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize