I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize