The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
