Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
