It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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