How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
