i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize