actually, I'm a sock model
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
