Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
