so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
