Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
