Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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