Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
