I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
