Your mouth is God's brothel.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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