she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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