I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
