Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize