There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
