I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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