my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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