Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it because I queefed?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
