i was born a porn star she said
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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