I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
