I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
