ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
