you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
