if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
