He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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