That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
