Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
