You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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