Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
