I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Enjoy the penises
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
