So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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