Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
