Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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