What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
